Saying Goodbye

By: Sue Kaszynski

My plan for this blog was kind of doing an introduction ( which I did) then kind of tell a story of my life so you the reader had an idea how I have gotten here and how I have become the person I am today. But life happened. Something too important happened not to journal now.
While it is fresh and the grief is washing over me.

Yesterday I kept thinking of a person who has always been important to me even if we had gone years without seeing each other or speaking. I had memories flash through on and off all day. I was thinking his birthday was coming up and I needed to remember to wish him a special happy
birthday. Today I found out he passed away yesterday.

Who was this person? He was a teacher to me first, then a friend, for a short while something more, then back to a friendship. We were his first class out of college ( poor him). I think every girl had a crush on him ( I know I sure did). He was one of those teachers who really engaged
with his students. Boys and girls would turn to him to dump their teenage angst. I remember he was concerned about me at one point and gave me his number. I remember calling him and him coming to get me and we sat in front of my house while I talked like I couldn’t to anyone else.
He stabilized me. He saw the hurting insecure girl where everyone else saw a kickass badass.

He then got drafted and went to Viet Nam. We would write a letter as a class, I would write him one, and I was the point person. He would write one back to the class but always include one just for me. When he came back they called me out of class. He was there for a visit but didn’t (
couldn’t) see everyone. It wasn’t him. I didn’t recognize this person. When he left they had to call my mom because I was so devastated. She had my brother who had been in Nam twice come and get me. He tried to explain what war does. He tried to explain going from a jungle one
day to the real world the next was a shock to the mind. All I knew was my heart was broken for this man I so admired.
One day when it was just him and I he talked. He had worked as a chaplain assistant and dealt with young men dying in his arms calling for their moms. All he could see was us, kids. It broke
his heart.

Eventually, he got back to some semblance of himself. He continued to be an outstanding teacher. With a wicked sense of humor!! But that is a whole story in itself.

After I had graduated, had a marriage behind me and he was single we brought a friendship to a next level. It was short lived as he had issues with me joining the Marine Corps. Me joining the service at all. What he went through still ran deep in him and didn’t want me exposed. It was
probably the only time we fought.

Well, I joined anyway. I needed to. It isn’t a decision I regret at all.
I have seen him on and off through the years. He had reached out through social media to give me insights and encouragement.

When I saw today he passed away yesterday after thinking of him all day I cried. I cried for my teacher. I cried for my friend. I cried for someone special to me. But my husband wonderful man he is calmly told me, “ but it was just him saying goodbye to you yesterday “.

So goodbye my dear friend. I hope your heart and soul are at peace. And until the day we see each other again, I wish for you all the blessings of heaven. You will be kept alive in the minds and hearts of many many people.
Rest In Peace Lew